‘I got addicted to gambling, I owed 46 loan sharks, but I turned things around and today I help people stop gambling’ | I, Reader

My name is Sheila Macedo, I am 32 years old, and I am addicted to gambling. It all started 5 years ago, when a cousin of mine showed me a sports betting website.

At first, it seems like you have everything under control, I told people that it wasn’t a problem and I didn’t want anyone to get involved in my life. I remember that after the first bets I won around R$200 reais and that became proof that I could grow in life.

Gambling addiction can be compared to drug addiction. I had access to everything on my cell phone screen. At the time, I was an administrative assistant and earned around R$800.00. So, I thought I could change my life and my family’s life with what I would earn.

I started living to play. I played all night, didn’t eat, I lost about fifteen kilos at that time. Any amount dropped on my cell phone and I was already playing. My salary fell on the first of every month and the next day, I had already lost everything.

Inside me, it was a distressing feeling. Because, at the same time as I felt terrible about spending so much, I wanted to play more, because I felt numb and had to make up for the lost money.

The pandemic

The pandemic arrived, I lost my job, because I was on my cell phone all day betting. In 2021, I saw that influencers started to promote other betting houses and I discovered what is popularly known as the ‘rocket game’ [ou “jogo do aviãozinho”].

I say that rocket takes you up there only to make you fall to the ground. Influencers only show them winning and I ended up thinking it would be like that too.

But no, I didn’t win at the same rate as I lost. And as I needed to play all the time, I started borrowing money. I started by asking my sister for R$50, and then new amounts for my parents, friends and family.

It wasn’t enough. She needed more and more. That was when I had my first contact with the first loan shark. As I was unemployed, they didn’t trust me to pay it back, so I asked for low amounts, like R$500 reais and said I would pay it back with 50% interest the next day.

I lost all my money and ended up asking for more. I was convincing the loan sharks that it would work. In the two years that I was playing, I asked for money from more than 46 loan sharks. When he reached the limit, he owed a total of around R$400,000, with interest and everything else.

No way out

I lost track of time, I didn’t know when it was day, when it was night, I just knew how to play without stopping. When I wasn’t playing, I thought about killing myself. I didn’t understand how I had gotten to that point. I looked at the avenue full of cars and considered jumping or filling up on medicine. I felt ashamed of myself and terrified of telling my family.

My sister noticed something was wrong and came to talk to me. I couldn’t count, I wanted to, but at the time I got stuck. She then told me that she would give me the contact details of a psychologist who was a friend of hers and that I needed help.

A week later, I was in her office and when I stepped into the room and she asked what was happening, I could only cry and I told her everything. I told him about the bets, the thoughts, how much money I owed and how ashamed I felt about it all.

She was the first person who listened to me and welcomed me. She showed that everything could be resolved, but she asked to speak to my family and I authorized it.

Six months locked up at home

The day my parents and sister found out about my addiction, I consider it to have been the worst day of my life. They fought with me because they didn’t understand how I had gotten to that point, something I didn’t even know.

But at the same time, they welcomed me and said they would help me. Many people have moved away from me, I have no friends, but my family, despite everything, reached out to me.

Some family members told my parents that they should have let me fend for myself, but leaving someone in that situation is inhumane. I feel bad about the fact that they sold two houses they owned and the family car, but little by little we paid off everyone I owed money to.

Despite supporting me, they still didn’t trust me. I spent six months locked up at home without access to my cell phone or computer. The only people I had contact with were my parents and my sister and I only left to go to the psychologist.

I tried to kill myself and they wanted to hospitalize me, my mother didn’t let me. But, with treatment and medical monitoring, I improved. I relapsed. After that, I promised myself I would never put myself in that situation again.

He had two jobs to pay the debt. She worked in the morning as a saleswoman and at night in a pizzeria. It was exhausting, but I knew I needed to do it. Currently, 98% of the debt is paid and if someone talks about games to me I feel disgusted, I never played again.

Support

When I slowly came back online, I realized that just like me, other people were going through the same thing. In the store where I work here in Salvador, Bahia, some employees were playing. When I told them my story, they also said that everything was under control. Until they came to tell me that they were losing a lot of money and didn’t know what to do.

That’s when the idea of ​​helping by advising former players came about. I didn’t create a group, I talk privately with each one. I guide, I give strength, I advise. A lot of people come to me on Instagram or other social networks saying they are thinking about killing themselves after losing everything. I do this so the person doesn’t feel alone, to create a support network. There comes a time when we no longer play for money but for pleasure, because we lose the pleasure of life.

Every day I receive calls from ex-addicts or family members who don’t know what to do. I feel like this is my purpose after everything I’ve been through. My main intention is to show that we can beat this “cancer” of the generation, this game that came to kill and destroy. I spent the worst days of my life and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.

But, with the help of family, psychological support and treatment, today I overcame it. Every day is a victory and I want to help more and more people to get out of this situation.”