Death is a delicate and difficult topic for people to talk about. This subject involves confusing and deep feelings and full of uncertainties, as it reminds us that life is finite and that loved ones can pass away before us.
We can do some things to make the child’s grief easier, but always keep in mind that this is a difficult period and that each child will react differently. Some will become more sensitive, cry more, for example. Others will demonstrate that they are not okay with changes in behavior.
It’s important to embrace the pain. Pretending that children don’t understand or feel doesn’t help and only makes grieving more difficult.
The ideal is to deal with this situation in a welcoming and respectful way:
* Here are some tips:
1) Choose a safe and quiet environment where the child feels comfortable and safe.
two) Tell the truth. You can even choose the best time to talk and how to talk, but she deserves to know the truth.
3) Be direct, simple and honest. Be careful with the explanation: “he became a little star” or “he went to heaven”. Some children plan to die so they can be reunited with their grandparents or loved ones.
4) Use concrete, simple examples to explain death. Avoid abstract terms that may be difficult to understand.
5) Be prepared to answer questions honestly and sincerely.
* Examples:
– When the child asks: “but will grandma come back?” He answers honestly: “grandma won’t come back, she will remain in your memory forever, but she won’t come back.”
– “Will I see her again?” You can say that some people (religions) believe that one day we will all meet again, and that other people (religions) believe that we will not. And then you tell us what you believe, talk about your beliefs, but we won’t be able to explain everything, because we don’t even know.
– “Does dying hurt?” Sometimes yes, sometimes no. It depends on how it happened.
– “Mommy, are you going to die?” Yes, we are all going to die one day, and we are going to take good care of our health so that day doesn’t last long.
6) Respect the child’s emotions: allow the child to express their emotions. Be open to talking about sadness, anger, confusion, or any other emotions she may be feeling. If the child cries, allow it. Welcome. Validate. It is important for her to experience and express these feelings.
7) Be prepared to repeat the conversation: Children may need several conversations to fully understand the idea of death. Be willing to repeat information and answer repeated questions.
8) Use books and visual resources: Children’s books about death can help illustrate and explain concepts in a way that is more accessible to children.
9) Encourage therapeutic activities such as drawing or writing about feelings to help the child express their emotions.
Finally, we must always remember that each child is unique and the approach must be adapted to individual personality and understanding. The important thing is to create a safe environment for the child to express their emotions and ask questions.
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Tags: Psychologist TIPS talk CHILDREN
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