According to experts, these myths can harm people’s sex lives (Photo: Image bank)
Talking about sex for many is considered taboo. Whether out of shame or moral principles, people generally prefer to keep this part of their lives private. According to one report carried out by the New York Times, most people have difficulty talking about the subject even with those who are their regular partners.
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Psychology professor at the University of Florida, Laurie Mintz, who specializes in human sexuality, tells the American newspaper that there are many social myths when it comes to sex. For Mintz and other researchers interviewed, these myths can not only be wrong, they can also cause a lot of harm.
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Check out 8 sex myths that experts wish would disappear
Myth 1: Others are having more sex than you
Myth 2: Sex means penetration
Myth 3: Vaginas shouldn’t need external lubrication
Myth 4: It is normal to feel pain during sexual intercourse
Myth 5: Men have more desire to have sex than women
Myth 6: Desire must happen instantly
Myth 7: Planned sex is boring
Myth 8: Your size is not up to par
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*Photos: Image bank
Myth 1: Others are having more sex than you
The myth that other people have more sexual relations than you arises right at the beginning of the sexual activity phase and can have different reasons. However, according to experts, periods of less sexual activity are common for both single and married people, in addition to the fact that research indicates that for reasons that are not yet clear, sexual activity has decreased over the years in general. The tip is to look at sex in a healthy way, always taking mental and physical health into account, providing intimacy, connection and security to your partner.
Myth 2: Sex means penetration
According to the experts interviewed, many people find themselves in what they call a “sexual script”, where foreplay generally begins penetrative sex, especially in heterosexual relationships. For Ian Kerner, sex therapist and author of “She Comes First,” rather than rushing toward penetrative sex, the focus should be on “external sex,” which is a broad term for any sexual activity that does not involve penetration.
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Although vaginal dryness is more common among older women, around 17% of women between the ages of 18 and 50 report some type of difficulty with lubrication during sex, while more than 50% experience it after menopause. Many factors can lead to this lack of lubrication, and experts say that it is possible to be completely interested in sexual intercourse and still need to use lubricants.
Myth 4: It is normal to feel pain during sexual intercourse
While lubricant can help some women experience more pleasure during sex, it’s important to remember that sex shouldn’t hurt. Approximately 75% of women experience pain during sex at some point in their lives, which can have several causes: gynecological problems, hormonal changes, cancer treatment, trauma – the list is long.
Men can also experience pain during sexual intercourse and it can also have multiple causes. Experts emphasize that it is important for anyone who experiences pain during sex to seek out a medical professional.
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Myth 5: Men have more desire to have sex than women
Although data suggests that men masturbate more often than women, it’s not true that women don’t want sex, nor that men always do. A recent study found that women’s desire tends to fluctuate more throughout their lives, but that men and women experienced very similar desire fluctuations throughout the week.
Myth 6: Desire must happen instantly
Sex therapists and researchers believe that there are two types of desire: spontaneous (the feeling of wanting sex out of the blue) and responsive, which arises in response to stimuli, such as touch. Lori Brotto, a psychologist and author of the book “Better Sex Through Mindfulness,” said a big part of her work is normalizing responsive desire, especially among women and those in long-term relationships.
The psychologist helps her patients understand that it is possible to have sex without spontaneous desire, as long as there is desire and consent. Dr. Brotto likens it to going to the gym when you don’t feel like it. “Your endorphins start flowing, you feel really good and you’re grateful you went afterwards,” she said.
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Myth 7: Planned sex is boring
Many people believe that planning or “marking” a sexual relationship on the calendar is a sign of problems in the relationship, or simply strange. However, with the busy lives that many lead, scheduling sex can be an interesting alternative. Scheduled sex can also foster responsive desire, Dr. Brotto said, allowing “time for arousal to build.”
Myth 8: Your size is not up to par
It is a very common myth among men that the penis must have a certain size, thickness and even symmetry. Other problems such as erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation, generally associated with older people, can be ignored by younger men, generating insecurity and lack of treatment out of shame.
Experts are emphatic in pointing out that sexual intercourse is a diverse act, which involves dialogue, specific and particular preferences, and mainly connection, intimacy and freedom to be and do everything that makes them feel good and safe with their partner. selected.
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